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  • Writer's pictureTammi Kirkness

What you can and can’t control

With the world still being in turmoil, albeit different stages of it, the fatigue of keeping spirits high has clearly been settling in for many. A theme coming up in a lot of recent client sessions has been centering around the loss of control.

Attempting to be positive when it feels like groundhog day is taking its toll on a lot of people.

When we feel in control, there is a sense of confidence that flows through. We’re the master of the ship, the captain of the plane and in charge of our destiny. This is where things feel possible.

On the flip side, when we’re feeling like we can’t control things, for most of us mayhem breaks free in our minds and bodies. It’s that sometimes-breathless, shoulder tightening sensation where it feels like something is just beyond your grasp.

What do we do about this when our surroundings have never been more uncertain? We start to practice discernment about which situations we can and can’t control. Here’s what you can do:

  1. On one bullet point list write down what you cannot currently control Eg. If other people wear masks, the outcome of a job interview, the weather

  2. On another bullet point list, write down what you can currently control Eg. What food you eat, what you read and watch, your self talk

  3. Visualise your first list being sucked up into a long vacuum tube into the sky and out of your mind (note: this is referred to as ‘surrender’)

  4. Choose to do one tiny thing that can boost your second list Eg. Go and eat an apple or drink an extra glass of water

Using our discernment to figure out what we can and can’t affect, control or impact is vital to managing our mental landscape during this time of uncertainty.


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